IN LOVING MEMORY 5th January 1952 -9th August 2012 Lodge Hill Crematorium Thursday 16th August at 12 Noon Better by far that you should forget and smile Than you should remember and be sad ENTRANCE MUSIC: Ave Maria Celine Dion OPENING WORDS AND WELCOME Love does not end with dying or leave with the last breath For someone you have loved deeply Love does not end with death ....... Welcome to you to this ceremony of tribute for the life of Terence Bill Mytton, known as Terry, a much loved and respected father, grandfather and great grandfather, whom we are here today to remember, to remember with love, thanksgiving and sadness and of course to say our farewells. When someone we love dies at whatever age and in whatever circumstances we all share the need for comfort and reassurance and we experience a bewildering range of emotions -sadness of course because in a practical sense Terry is no longer a part of your life and if you were to look around the whole world you would not fmd someone to take his place in your heart -but the sadness you feel is a measure of the love and affection which you shared with him, in whichever way you knew him -and the footprint he has left on each of you, can and will never be lost or forgotten. But today in gathering together to say our farewells to this loving, supportive and caring man, we must pay tribute to his life -albeit a relatively short life -but a life which to use Donna's words, 'was eventful, yet simple' -and a life in which he created what is perhaps the greatest legacy it is possible for anyone to leave -that of a loving family -a family to whom he remained devoted and a family who now have their own special memories of him many of which we shall hear in a moment of two in the family tribute. Those of you who knew Terry well will know that it would not be his wish for today's ceremony to be of a religious nature -and so having spent time with his family, the music and words which you will hear have been chosen especially to reflect his style, his values and his character -but having a respect for the right of each individual to their own faith or belief, we will be sharing a quiet time a little later which will be an opportunity for you to pay silent tribute to this proud and private man in whichever way is appropriate to you. Don't think of him as gone away His journey's just begun Life holds so many facets, this earth is only one Just think of him as resting from sorrow and the tears in a place of warmth and comfort where there are no days or years Think how he must be wishing That we could know today how nothing but our sadness can really pass away And think of him as living in the hearts of those he touched for nothing loved is ever lost and he was loved so much REMEMBRANCE KEVIN: 'OUR DAD' Our Dad -Terry Mytton aka as Grandad, Uncle, Brother, Mitsy and Tel, along with many other things he was known as from way back -but not suitable for our younger mourners. Dad was quite simply -DAD! Always right, never wrong, did not moan and loved to pay over the odds for things and be ripped off! Close your eyes and picture this ................. I will leave out the many, many profanities but you can guess what they are. 8 years ago -2004 -it is cold and it is wet -Chelsea away -only went as the coach was free! "These seats are a bit small, I can hardly move in them" "I have no leg room here" ALL THE WAY FROM BIRMINGHAM TO LONDON -Dad being the giant he was and all and me being the short one, of course! We arrive a little before 7pm -kick off looming. "Walked miles, I have, bl---y hole this is" Actually it was about 2-3 minutes but 'miles' never the less. Starving we were so Dad to my amazement agreed to get some foodl The queue was literally 300 -400 people long 'Bl-y cockneys, all the same they are" Bearing in mind we were in a sea of claret and blue and surrounded by fellow hungry fans just got off the coach -you try telling Dad that! We near the front and my heart sinks -I see the sign -HARRY RAMSDENS we were at Chelsea I guess but I thought 'Oh no' I knew what was coming. Dad had not seen the sign as he was 6 people behind still moaning with 2 other guys about the leg room and the coach! Then we get to the front and I ask for sausage and chips twice. NO RED SAUCE AT I5p A SACHET by the way. Then it came at £12.20 please 'HOW MUCH? £12.20 I want a sausage, not a cow -you can 'foxtrot oscar'! Five minutes he stood there arguing with this kid! Didn't give a monkeys about the 200 by now agitated and equally as hungry people behind him and all you heard was "£10 for cash"! Even Harry Ramsden's succumbed to DAD -WON! £10 IT WAS! In true Dad style he moaned all the way up the hill then planted himself down on the wet pavement next to a POLICEMAN ON A HORSE! He said 'if you had legs like mine you would need a rest too!' Even the policeman was laughing -I could not find the picture, but it was priceless. Stubborn, moaning, and at his peak deafeningly loud -it was what we loved about him and why he became a celebrity in every hospital ward he lay in and there were plenty. He played up the nurses rotten and they loved it and he loved them too -tried to marry me off many times (not that I was complaining) and to the end I was telling him how lucky he was to have so many lovely women around him -oh Dad loved a nice nurse -bless him! He lived for his family -my 2 sisters and their children along with Auntie Janice, his sister -they were his world. It was all he knew towards the end and along with the QE and St Mary's and their staff -that was what kept him going. My sisters, Donna and Amanda, kept Dad alive with their constant and tireless love and being daughters, friends, agony aunts, shoppers, cleaners just about everything in one and coupled with Aunty Janice's regular weekly visits where he lived for his Greggs' sandwich and a bottle of fresh milk -he told me regularly what he had, and together they gave him purpose and hope. The regular telephone calls, visits, trips and just listening to him, made Dad feel -well not alone really. November 2009 we were told 2-3 months and to make Christmas a special one 3 Christmases and a 60th birthday Dad went through to prove once and for all 'TERRY IS RIGHT'. What the doctors failed to realise is in Dad was not medical science, specialists, experts or even Harry Ramsden himself told Dad the drill -it was his way or no way as his way was the right way! Me and Dad -in 1 word -eventful I was as close to my Dad at the end as I have ever been. The last 2 years we talked more than we ever have and I will take to my grave the content of most of my conversations with him but what I will tell you is the people I mentioned came up in every single conversation we have had. He loved his daughters, granddaughters, and family so much along with our beloved ASTON VILLA and my brother Stuart. Make no mistake to outsiders it would have appeared that me and Dad loathed each other at times! I was harsh with him and he with me. We swore, argued, were vocal and moaned together but it was all in the unique bond we had. Myself and Stuart kept Dad's manliness, if that is even a word -we kept that alive in him. TOUGH LOVE THEY CALL IT In Stuart he got that Bluenose banter he craved from years ago and in both of us -well we just about bantered about anything and everything! Everything I have said is so true -even in the last few days of his life he kept fighting to let everyone know he will tell us when he is ready. Then on August 9th some of his last words, were 'I have had enough'. With myself, Amanda and Donna, Auntie Janice and Laura at his bedside, Auntie Janice stood tall (no pun intended Auntie Jan) -she stood tall and she told Dad with our blessing 'if you want to go, you go and join Mom, Dad and Dennis' -within seconds Dad drifted away and at 2.45pm the pain was no more. It was like he had our blessing and he was ready. I am pretty much done now but make no mistake this reading does not end without a tribute to life's TRUEST HERO. Me and my sisters thank every single doctor, nurse, carer, tea maker, volunteer and anyone else that made him smile. The work of St Mary's Hospice -words do not do justice. Dad loved them all and I know many of them got upset just at Dad being unwell, let alone now. From start to finish, Dr Becky and her team were just above and beyond the call with him. Nicky Taylor, a nurse at St Mary's who was one of the last people to care for Dad summed it up when she told me and Donna this 'I came into nursing to nurse' for the care of people she typified their ethic nothing too much trouble, not clock watching, just genuinely concerned for their patients. She along with all her colleagues meant that too -they are amazing people and Dad was fond of you all and words will never do justice to our thanks to you. We have envelopes here for the hospice. If you want to do one last thing for Dad, or show Dad one last act of love -please put something in an envelope for the people that gave him literally the tools to cheat death so many times. I mentioned earlier that Stuart and I gave Dad the MANLINESS, the tough love, we were lads together and we acted as such to the end. I am breaking the unwritten code now one time. I never told you when you were alive -its just not how we rolled is it Dad, but make no mistake I LOVE YOU POPS, WE LOVE YOU -EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM LOVES YOU. August 9th 2012 -the pain stopped and you were ready, 60 and out but the memories will live a lifetime and every birthday I ever had will be a warm up to a memory for you. Rest Easy Baldy Grandad Rest Easy Brother and Uncle Rest Easy Friend and Cheeky Patient REST EASY DAD And so now as we reflect on all we have just heard of Terry's colourful life let us sit and listen to one of his favourites -'You took the words right out of my mouth' MUSIC: You took the words right out of my mouth Meatloaf MUSIC TO PLAY QUIET REFLECTION I am now going to invite you to join with me in a time of quiet reflection which is an opportunity for you to pay tribute to Terry in whichever way is appropriate to you. I would ask you also to hold close to your heart children, Donna, Amanda, and Kevin, grandchildren Bethany, Lily, Laura, Bradley, Nicole, Phoebe, great grandson Jamie, and step grandchildren Tammy and Daniel they all now face a particular challenge as they face life without this loving family man -and remember son in law Stuart, and sister Janice, both of whom played such an important part in Terry's life and hope that the love which surrounds you all today will bring comfort in this time of mourning. Pay tribute also to the professional staff -whom we have heard mentioned by Kevin -who cared for him as his journey through life became more challenging and gave him support and care during those dark days. Words are weak when love has been strong -just let the silence of your heart remind you of all that Terry meant to you SILENCE To the living, I am gone To the sorrowful, I will never return To the angry, I was cheated But to the happy, I am at peace And to the faithful, I have never left I cannot speak, but I can listen I cannot be seen, but I can be heard So as you stand upon the shore Gazing at the beautiful sea, remember me As you look in awe at a mighty forest And its grand majesty, remember me Remember me in your hearts, In your thoughts, and the memories of the Times we loved, the. times we cried, the Battle we fought and the times we laughed For ifyou always think of me, I will have never gone. Anon PREPARATION FOR COMMITTAL It is now time for us to prepare for the committal and during this time family members may come forward with their family floral tributes for Terry -we shall be listening to Fields of Gold by Eva Cassidy -please remain seated during this Preparation MUSIC: Fields of Gold to play in full COMMITIAL: Will those of you who are able now please stand for the committal: (Fields of Gold to continue to be played on the organ) To every thing there is a season and a time for every purpose on earth -a time to be born and a time to die, and so death has come to our loved one Terry and here in this last act, in sorrow but without fear, in love and appreciation, and surrounded by those who loved him, we commit his body to be cremated Will those of you who wish now join with me in the words printed in the Order of Service At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of the spring We will remember him At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of the autumn We will remember him At the rising of the sun, and at its setting, We will remember him. As long as we live, he too will live Por he is now a part of us As we remember him CURTAINS TO CLOSE The memories and love I leave behind are yours to keep I have found my rest I have turned my face to the sun and now I sleep (Music to cease) Please sit down CLOSING WORDS We have now nearly come to the end of this tribute to Terry and on behalf of the family, thank you all for sharing this time with them -they hope you will join them afterwards for refreshments at Donna's home, they also ask, as Kevin has already mentioned donations in his memory may be made in support of the work of Birmingham St Mary's Hospice. For my own part may I thank the family for inviting me to write this ceremony and indeed officiate today and I sincerely hope you will all have found some comfort and healing from the words. Following my final words, our exit music is to be Close my Eyes by Ozzie Osbourne -just sit and listen to it for a moment or two with your own thoughts and memories before you leave the Chapel. Final words: When I am dead, cry for me a little. Think of me sometimes, but not too much. Think of me as I was in life. At some moments it is pleasant to recall, But not for long. Leave me in peace and I will leave you in peace. And while you live, let your thoughts be for the living. EXIT MUSIC: Close my Eyes Ozzie Osbourne